3 Year Old's Shennanigans

I know it's been a bit since I've posted a blog, feels like forever for me.

Last week was our middle son's 8th birthday, so in honor of him, I dedicate this blog post.

 

Elijah at about 2 years old

So this blog starts out when our middle son was around 1 1/2 years old, he was our middle son at this point as his younger brother was born when he was 19 months old.

Elijah has always been the quiet, calculating little genius....recipe for disaster.  These traits have continued to be apart of his personality even at the ripe old age of 2,921 days old.

People have always said "it's the quiet ones you have to worry about", and boy isn't that the truth, as I have discovered time and time again with my precious child.

Has anyone ever seen the show "My Strange Addiction" on TLC?  Well this might qualify as one of those stories.

Elijah would always get in the diaper bag (which was always full since at the time we had 2 in diapers) and take something out of it and hide.  Like hide behind bookshelves, the couch, recliner, his crib or go into the spare room.
Not only would he hide with his loot...he would eat it.  YES eat it!  I'm sure you are dying to know what in the world he could eat from a diaper bag.  
No it wasn't an old diaper or anything like that.....it was Desitin, the diaper rash cream.  I am laughing as I type this because I cannot even count the times I found him behind something with his little finger in the top of the tube digging out the butt cream to eat.  So weird.  

My best friend, who at times has been like a nanny to my kids while I worked, told me that she couldn't keep it away from him....I had forgotten to tell her about his "funny" little habit. 
I just told her "oh he just does it all the time", lol.

Thankfully we learned to keep it higher than he could reach or climb and he slowly grew out of it, who knows maybe he still likes it.  So my friends with babies, watch out when I come over with my kids.
                                                     

So, I've got lots more stories about this little boy.

As if having 2 boys in diapers wasn't hard enough, I was blessed with a quiet little ninja of a toddler.  

One year for Christmas we had family gift my boys with a great craft supplies; colored pencils, paper, crayons, FINGER PAINT!!!

My little ninja, probably while I was cleaning the house or baking bread or making our clothes ya know; something motherly (because this was before my Facebook addiction and when I was a better completely attentive mom), Elijah sneaked into the spare room and started to "paint" with the wonderful finger paints.  And his own body was his canvas, namely his hair. And did you know....Yellow finger paint works just like hair gel, lol.  When I went to go get a towel to clean him up he decided to paint someone else....yep his baby brother.

Oh dear me....

Nope not gel....that's paint. 

After the clean up of the baby, as you can see, he was crying from the tears on his face...poor kid.

And the final story of the night begins when Elijah was just 3 years old.  Yep, at three he already wanted to become a barber.

His first client, Praise the Lord, wasn't his brother, but himself.  I'm sure most moms have experienced this from one of their kids.

This one I probably wasn't paying that close attention to what was going on, but here's what I remember.  

I go into my bathroom and notice one of my razors on the edge of the sink, with hair sticking out of the tiny little blades.  Nice I think, and then my mind starts racing, what in the world.....ELIJAH!!!!!

I go and find him and sure enough, this is what I see....he shaved part of his eyebrows, and was pretty proud of himself.

  

  

He is a sneaky child too smart for his own good.  Lord help me to cultivate his intelligence and raise him right and help me not to ground him for the rest of his life for what is in store for us.

I am so very thankful for each "lesson" I have learned by being Elijah's mom.  He is an amazing young man that likes to make memories and give mommy blog material.

Until next time....

Archive

Ok so my house has been sort of quiet the last 2 days....it's not normal by any means.

It still smells like a horrid burnt piece of charcoal any time someone needs to use the microwave...gross!

If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to give advice (on the horrible smell in my microwave not on how to parent my boys)

So I've decided to pull from the depths of the archives for today's post.  This story is a few years old, but I'm sure everyone will get a good laugh, and maybe even relate?  Ya hopefully relate...please?  That would mean my boys are normal and this happens to everyone....well just read on because I highly doubt it.


A few years ago, long after my youngest son Moose had been potty trained (yep...it's going to be a good one), I was actually being a great housewife and cleaning.

I remember being in the laundry room sorting out laundry, which is no small feat for a family of 5, when my precious baby came and found me.

He starts taking off all of his clothes, which is normal because he is for the sure the diva in our family and has to change his clothes about 3 times a day to look in his words "cool".

I am bent over going through clothes and he says "I need to change, I'm all wet" and starts to walk away.
It took a good 3 seconds for it to register with me that he shouldn't be wet so I yell after him

"wait, why are you wet?"

He mumbles some answer in which I only pick up a few words like, "trying" "cup" "pee" and "toilet".

I knew it wasn't going to be good...so many thoughts raced through my head because with this kid, I worry. If any of you ever end up babysitting (well I doubt I will get offers after this blog) you should worry too.

I follow after him to the bathroom....OMG!!!

On their bathroom floor is a pint glass filled with some "fluid" and the floor and toilet seat are wet.  I try to hold back my anger as I wait for my precious son to explain what in the H*LL he was thinking!  

He says he tried to pee in the cup on the floor and then pour it in the toilet.
I pause trying to compute.....please Lord give me strength.

Just picture a 3 year old trying to do this, he has horrible aim with a HUGE hole attached to the floor called a TOILET, just imagine the aim in a 4 inch hole lower to the ground.
When he tried to pour the contents of the cup into the toilet he spilled (surprise, surprise) all over himself, the floor, the toilet seat and down the sides.  WOW!!!

 Moose at 2 or 3 years old

Boy was it fun cleaning this mess up, and thankfully I can laugh at this memory now. He did not get punished, but this will forever been on the internet so when he's famous or running for President, they will be able to pull up some dirt on him (hopefully this is the worst), and it will be punishment enough.  I love being a mom.

I know I have my hands more than full with this one! 

Until the next "memory"......

Two-Fer

Ok this one's a two-fer, cuz that's just how today went

When I said my kids are crazy, I mean sometimes I wonder what in the world they are thinking, like really?

So here's just a little recap of today...and mind you it's only 5 pm and there is ALOT of time left in the day to make memories....

So rewind about 10 hours...Saturday morning, my husband wants to sleep in, the kids do not: ever!

They wake up as I'm getting ready to leave the house and two of the 3 are trying to play soccer in the living room.

For those of you who can't picture, my house is small, like real small. My sons have a full sized soccer ball in our small living room kicking it back and forth like it's the World Cup and their lives depend on how hard they can hit the wall to our bedroom.  My husband yells from bed..."I guess there's no sleeping in!!" to which I laugh a little (or a lot) inside because I know I'm leaving the house and won't have to deal with them. I did try to be a good wife and tell the kids in my normally-sweet-motherly voice to go play in their room.  No really I yelled at them to go play in their room or go play out side in the 2 inches of fresh snow.

They immediately jumped at the chance at 7 in the morning to go play in the snow.  

Being the wonderful mother that I am, I instructed them that they had to have boots, gloves, snow pants, jackets...etc.

They started whining that they don't have any of that stuff...which they do they just can't find them. So I told them to "figure it out", aren't I just a sweet mom. In my defense I was leaving for a breakfast, and by this time it's probably close to 8:15 am.

My husband, Micah, is awake and finally moving around in the bedroom.

  

This is what I hear from the boys' bedroom:

"I have a great idea", then a short pause, and then a loud crash!!! 

I of course hear this all the time and didn't rush in, I really waited to hear if anyone started to cry. 

I don't hear crying but I do hear "I'm not going to tell on you" to which my youngest "Moose" comes running out and promptly tells on the other one.  Aren't they just so loving!

What he tells me is that they were trying to reach their snow pants on top of the shelf in their closet and their "great idea" was to climb up there using their clothing rod instead of getting a chair. It didn't hold their weight (cheap crap, lol) and fell down, surprise surprise!

I promptly left the house for my husband to deal with the mess, haha.

Fast forward about 5 hours to when I finally get home from doing whatever I needed to do.

They boys are watching cartoons and Micah is still cleaning their room, ya it was bad. I won't even post a picture because it was that embarrassing.

Just a normal chill Saturday until the reason for the two-fer:

My middle son, Elijah, wanted to heat up his left over pizza crust.  Yes, just the crust, you will see what it's important here in a moment.

Jeremiah (Moose) had just heated up and entire slice of pizza and went to sit down. I being the attentive mother was on Facebook and not really paying attention (judge me if you will, I'm sure everyone has been there). So Elijah proceeds to put his pizza CRUST in the microwave and go to the living room to watch TV while his crust heated.

The timer winds down, the microwave dings and Elijah goes to get his crust.  It was ON FIRE!!!! He opened the door to the microwave and smoke is just bellowing out of the thing.  We all start coughing as the fire stops and more smoke just fills the entire house.  I yell for the kids to open the doors, windows and turn the fans on.  I asked Elijah how long he put it in there for and he said 90 seconds (really?) We all coughed while the smoke slowly disbursed from the house.  

It's blurry because I was coughing so hard!

So even now a few hours later, our house still smells horrible, like burnt popcorn. Awesome!!!

***Thankfully no one was hurt in the making of today's blog post, but like I said earlier, there is still plenty of time left in the day.

My precious Niños

Ok, so after much internal debate, I've decided to be completely transparent and let everyone in on my crazy life.  

I am the sometimes not-so-wonderful mother to 3 wonderful boys.  They are simply the best thing that has ever happened to me.  They can be crazy, rude, obnoxious and loving and thoughtful, they're just awesome. They have the ability to destroy a house in like 2.5 seconds of getting off the bus but they're mine, and I love them.

I found myself getting so mad at how messy and destructive they can be at times....who am I kidding, they are like this all the time. I realized they are making memories that will last long after my attitude about how gross their bathroom stinks is gone and I'd better learn to appreciate the fullness they bring to my life now before it's too late.  So...hence the blog.

I have so many hilarious (well now they are) stories of what they have done over the last 12 years I've been a mom, I wanted to write them down (and share for everyone's judgment and hopefully enjoyment) before I forget what it was like before they were men. They are growing up so fast it's hard to believe they were even once perfect little babies.

Here they are trying to act real tough

I am honored that God chose me to be their mom, I hope I don't ruin their chances at a normal life, haha.   

I hope one day they will look at this and realize through all the yelling and punishment that I really do love them. 

So here's to a blog that I'm sure will make everyone laugh, because my kids are crazy.